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In this study, 64 self-reported straight males with a mean age of 20.3 years were divided into two groups (“non-homophobic men” and “homophobic men”) on the basis of their scores on a questionnaire measure of aversion to gay males. In this empirical paper, researchers Henry Adams, Lester Wright, Jr., and Bethany Lohr from the University of Georgia report evidence that homophobic young males may secretly have gay urges. One of the most important lines of work in this area dates back to a 1996 article published in The Journal of Abnormal Psychology. And it turns out we may have something in common-many young, homophobic males may secretly harbor homosexual desires (whether they are consciously trying to deceive the world about them as I was or not even aware they exist). I may have failed as a homophobe, but unfortunately, many people succeed. But, although it sounded good in theory, I wasn’t very hostile by temperament and I had trouble channeling my fictitious outrage into convincing practice. When I was eight years old, I figured that if I used the word “fag” a lot and on every possible occasion expressed my repugnance for gay people, others would obviously think I was straight. In fact, my earliest conscious tactic to hide my homosexuality involved being outlandishly homophobic.
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Since the third grade, I’d spent too many valuable cognitive resources concocting deceptive schemes to cover up the fact that I was gay. But the truth is that passing for a straight person had become more of a hassle than I figured it was worth. I wish I could say that I decided to come out of the closet in my early twenties for more admirable reasons-such as for love or the principle of the thing.